There Were Hints

For the longest time, I thought that the woman I have become was not very much like the teenager I was. That girl was going to be a career woman, and here I am - mother of four. But, when I think about it, the stuff at the core of me now is very much like that girl I was. Here's what I mean:

Pro-Life - Way back in middle school, I did a research paper about abortion. I was very much against abortion then, but I didn't know that I would someday be tested in a way that rocked my very soul. When we found out that Julia had some brain abnormalities at our 20 week ultrasound, one of the options we were given was to terminate the pregnancy. And, I was so shaken and scared about what we'd learned, I felt like I just wanted to run. To further complicate things, we had to make a decision quickly because we could not terminate the pregnancy once we reached 22 weeks. So, for a couple of days, I felt like I had this enormous decision to make. Crazy thoughts went through my mind - could I be sedated if I terminated the pregnancy? Could the baby be sedated - after all, I'd felt her moving... For me, those awful days of trying to 'decide' still remain the most difficult part of our journey with Julia.

Then, I finally realized that there was no decision to be made. Although abortion was an option we'd been given, it really wasn't a choice for us at all. No matter what, we already loved this baby. And, it hit me - having this baby might change my life more than I could even understand then, but aborting our baby would destroy my life. So, yes, even when my faith was put to the test, I can say with 100% certainty that I am pro-life!

Part 2 and more to come.