Christmas Letter - Take 2

Sometimes, God makes it a little more challenging to count your blessings. For us, this has been one of those years. We've had what seemed to be more than our share of heartbreak and anxiety. In June, Michele's Grandma Maddie passed away. In October, her Grandma Ertl died. Later in October, Julia got the H1N1 virus, and she's been sick ever since, fighting back-to-back illnesses. Since July, Matt's had four weeks of work furloughs, with one more coming over the holidays. In many respects, it’s been a tough year.

But, there's the other side of the story - the wonderful blessings that far outweigh the difficulties. Although they are very much missed, both grandmas lived long, full, happy lives. As sick as Julia has been, she has not been hospitalized, and she's on the road to recovery. And, while Matt's been on furlough, Michele is able to work full-time and more.

Here are a few of the highlights about the kids this year:

Alex – Very clever and far too grown up for his age. He’s very involved with Cub Scouts (the next time you see Matt, ask him about the swimming test he took at Cub Scout Summer Camp). Alex continues to do well in school (as long as he’s not daydreaming about building contraptions.) And, in spite of reminding us that having the little kids “ruined his life,” he is usually a wonderful big brother. He still has a great work ethic, and has taken over cutting the lawn and shoveling the driveway among many other jobs. He is a joy to be around, even if most of our one-on-one time comes during errands, grocery shopping and brushing our teeth.

Julia - Before illness set in, Julia had a great summer. She loves to swing, and her new game is to kick the person pushing her and then smirk. She has been ‘talking’ to us more by responding to questions and comments with vocalizations - and her timing is too perfect to be a coincidence. She likes to be part of the conversation, and I don't think she always agrees with us. Julia also has four new members in her entourage – nurses that are with her five days a week, making sure all of her medical needs are met. We’re sure they are a large part of the reason Julia has not ended up in the hospital in spite of being a very sick little girl over the last two months. She loves the extra attention, and mom and dad are happy to get a bit of a break once in a while.

Luke – He’s still our outgoing, charming boy. He’s in 4K five mornings a week, which he loves because he can spend time with his ‘buddies.’ He loves going to the Texas Roadhouse, and has charmed one of the hostesses into giving him dance lessons every time we’re there. And, that kid really has some good moves (he did not get that from his father…) He has also proven to be a little fish, and is doing great with swimming lessons.

Erica – She is in 3K three mornings a week, and she loves it. All too quickly, our ‘baby’ is turning into one headstrong little girl. She is so much sweet and sass wrapped in one adorable package, we can’t help but hold back laughter when she starts in. She has a comeback for everything, like the time we asked her to pick up the many toys she had out and she responded, “Hello! I am not an octopus girl. I can’t pick up eight things at one time.” Oh, but the sweet side of that girl. She gives the tightest hugs, has a sparkle in her eye and is just full of love.

And, we have a new furry addition - a teddy bear puppy named Cooper joined our family in August. We may be biased, but he's the cutest little guy on four legs we've ever seen. He's also a little stinker, but we can't help but love him.

Happy holidays to our family and friends. We hope that your blessings far outnumber the challenges you face.

Wishing you peace, love and hope -
The Rosners

Merry Christmas from the Rosners

Sometimes, God makes it a little more challenging to count your blessings. For us, this has been one of those years. We've had what seemed to be more than our share of heartbreak and anxiety. In June, Michele's Grandma Maddie passed away. In October, her Grandma Ertl died. Later in October, Julia got the H1N1 virus, and she's been sick ever since, fighting back-to-back illesses. Over the last few months, our dishwasher started on fire, our washing machine started spraying water on the floor and the transmission on our relatively new van had to be replaced. Matt's had four weeks of work furloughs, with one more coming over the holidays. There have been days when we've wanted to pull the covers back over our heads and just hide out for a while.

But, there's the other side of the story - the wonderful blessings that far outweigh the difficulties. Although they are very much missed, both grandmas lived long, full, happy lives. As sick as Julia has been, she has not needed to be hospitalized and she's on the road to recovery. The new dishwasher works great, Matt fixed the washing machine and our van should run for many more years. And, while Matt's been on furlough, Michele is able to work as many hours as she can.

We are so lucky. Four kids that fill our lives with laughter and love. Erica is headstrong and sweet. Luke is lovable and happy. Julia is strong and easy-going. Alex is smart and thoughtful. They make us laugh every single day. And, we have a new furry addition - a teddy bear puppy named Cooper joined our family in August. We may be biased, but he's the cutest little guy on four legs we've ever seen. He's also a little stinker, but we can't help but love him.

Happy holidays to our family and friends. We hope that your blessings far outnumber the challenges you face.

Wishing you peace, love and hope -
The Rosners

Kid Funnies

Luke wanted to use Alex's DS. Alex told him, "Luke, sterilize your hands before you use it." Luke said, "What does that mean? I have to stare at my hands?"

Erica had to pick up her kitchen toys that were all over the living room. She said she needed help, but we told her she could do it on her own. She said, "Hello! I am not an octopus-girl here. I can't pick up eight things at once." Then she said, "I have to pick up so a little pumpkin named Cooper doesn't get my toys."

Random Word = Cleaner

The challenge: Use a random word generator to get a word, and then journal using that word. Well, okay, that sounds like it might be interesting.

So, while watching "Clean House," I got the word cleaner. Now, that's ironic.

Here's my brain dump all around the word "cleaner":

• I've been going greener and using more natural cleaners. Matt thinks I have gone vinegar crazy. But, the nurses use it to clean Julia's neb kit and other stuff, so maybe I'm not so crazy after all. I will be exploring more 'recipes' for other natural cleaners.
• Along with being cleaner, we've been working on more de-cluttering. We're making progress, but it's slow going sometimes. My head knows it's just stuff, but when it comes to parting with it, I'm convinced I will someday have a use for it and regret getting rid of it. Believe it or not, I'm better at getting rid of my own stuff than I am with the kids' stuff. They really do have more toys than they need, so I'm going to have to toughen up.
• Also related to cleaner - organized. We have A LOT of stuff, but most of it is well-organized. Seasonal decorations, kids' clothes, craft supplies, cleaning supplies...it's all pretty darn organized.

October Round-Up

This month might have passed by more quickly than any month I can remember. In many ways, that is a good thing because it was not a stellar month:

• Grandma Ertl died (Oct 7). Uncle Andy died just five days later.
• Sick, sick and sick - Erica and Luke ran fevers off and on for days (each missed a few days of school, may or may not have been a mild case of H1N1), I had a sinus infection (finally got antibiotics after weeks of trying to tough it out), Alex got H1N1 (missed the three days of school during the 3-day teacher convention week), Julia got probable H1N1 (treated with Tamiflu) followed by pneumonia (treated with Zithromax). The ironic part is we did everything we could think of to protect Julia from the swine flu. We kept her home as soon as we heard rumor of an outbreak at her school, we got her immunized at the first opportunity (along with Luke, Erica, me and Matt), we kept her home after the immunization to give it time to fully protect her. The upside - maybe the immunization provided some protection so she didn't get even sicker. The other upside - we don't have to worry about getting it anymore because now we've had it.
• Julia's impact reaches further than we sometimes realize. My co-worker's daughter (Brianna) started a prayer chain with her friends as soon as she heard Julia had H1N1. That's one cool 8th grader. Jill brought us brownies and banana bread. Many others prayed and sent get well wishes.
• Julia has a team of three nurses (soon to be four). Maggie is here three days a week (T, W, R), Christa is here Mondays, Christine is here Fridays. We have been so grateful for their help with getting Julia well again. She is a full-time job!
• Furlough week - Matt was on furlough the week the kids were all sick - not so lucky for him. And, I didn't make a lot of progress on my work projects because I was so tired and worried, I could not function all that well.
• Halloween - Alex (Spider-Man), Luke (dinosaur) and Erica (princess) were well enough to trick or treat at my work on Friday. And, in spite of cold, windy weather, we did trick-or-treat around our neighborhood on Saturday. The boys wore winter coats under their costumes and Erica was a pink poodle instead of a princess. True to form, Erica started complaining about five houses from home. She wanted to trick or treat at my work instead of outside - not an option. Luke soon was asking for water - also not an option. We were with the McLaughlins, so Erica rode in the stroller with Ally and Luke was busy running with Ryan, so he mostly forgot how thirsty he was. We made it for 1 1/4 hours of trick-or-treating, and we now have LOTS of candy.
• Had Julia's IEP meeting - Let's just say it didn't go all that well, and I now have a newfound dislike for plastic apples. I'm not sure when Julia's team gave up on her, but they seem to have lost faith in her ability to do anything. So discouraging, but we're going to keep exploring our alternatives because Julia deserves a team that believes in her as much as we do! We did have an evaluation for private physical therapy, and that should be getting started soon.
• Luke started swimming lessons. We both had a great time. Luke loved the shower after swimming almost as much as the lesson itself. It was a great chance to have some one-on-one time with my little guy who seems to be growing up way too quickly lately.
• Alex was extremely busy with Cub Scouts. He earned a couple of badges and belt loops this month. Scout outings included a trip to Horicon Marsh (Matt also liked that one) and a trip to Pike Lake to learn from one of the rangers. Alex left a really good impression with his intelligent answers, and the ranger tracked him down after the session to compliment him and tell him about a ranger shadowing program for high school kids in case Alex develops an interest in being a ranger.

Siblings

One of the most rewarding and fascinating parts about having a larger family – sibling dynamics. Watching each of the kids develop their own unique personality, and then watching how those personalities mesh together into one family…it’s remarkable. I can give a quick summary of what the relationships look like on the surface: Alex and Luke fight as often as they got along, Luke and Erica are great buddies, Erica and Julia share a special sister bond, Alex is very protective of Erica. But, that doesn’t come anywhere near describing the depth of the relationship the kids have with one another. There are the subtle ways that Erica copies the things her brothers do; how Alex seems to ignore Julia, but listens and processes everything that’s happening with her; the bond that’s growing stronger between the boys now that Luke’s growing up and they are in the same school; the way they all accept Julia’s limitations without question or complaint (most of the time); the teamwork between them as they work for a common cause (usually in a team-up against mom and dad); the way Erica tries to boss the boys around even though she’s just a little peanut – so many nuances that make their relationships impossible to understand completely. But, there is one thing that is crystal clear to me. As my kids get older, one of my greatest wishes for them is to develop, nurture and keep a strong bond and lots of love between all of them. They sure do make a dynamic team, and I hope the sibling bonds keep getting stronger.

A Bad Week

I know it's only Tuesday, but this has not been a good week. So far:

• Sunday - Matt took Julia for her weekly bloodwork and it took six pokes to draw enough blood. They were late getting home and we missed church.
• Monday - Cooper nearly got run over by Julia's bus. Luckily the boys that ride the bus with Julia saw Cooper in the driveway and told the driver (not Anna) to stop.
• Tuesday - Cooper went to the vet and got sick (carsick?) on the way home. He threw up all over Erica, her carseat and the backseat of the Camry. He has also been crying all day - the injection sites must be very sore and he is a big baby.
• Tuesday - Luke almost got hit by a car as he was getting off the bus. Matt saw the whole thing happen, but only luck kept Luke from getting hit. Here's how it happened: Luke needed to go back on the bus because he had forgotten his coat and Matt crossed the street with him. Luke grabbed his coat, got off the bus and started running across the street. In the meantime, an old lady tried to go around the bus from behind - even though the lights were on and the stop sign was out. She will be getting a citation. She also heard harsh words from Matt.
• Tuesday - Grandma Ertl died. She has been having failing health for the last month (since GI surgery on Labor Day where they removed 6-8 inches of small intestines), and she has been in hospice care for several days very near death. Her passing today was a blessing because she is now at peace. But, this comes so close on the heels of losing Grandma Maddie, and it seems like deja vu all over again. What a double whammie.

I would like to say things can only get better from here, but I'm a bit afraid to see what the rest of the week might bring.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Sometimes we see ourselves in our kids in the most unexpected ways. For the last few weeks, Erica has been carting around many, many babies. There are at least seven of them in bed with her every night. There's a regular rotation of dollies in the stroller. Today, all of the babies were missing from her bed. Why, you ask? Because she took them all out into the living room for a party. When she talks about what she wishes for, it's always 'babies' - real babies or dollies, I'm not sure. Bottom line, this girlie of mine loves her babies. Just like her mama.

A Member of the Family

One might expect this post to be about our newest member of the family, little Cooper. He arrived just a couple of days ago, and he is cute, and we are completely in love already. But, this post is about a furry guy that has been a part of this family for much longer - Beebe.



Alex recieved this little guy for a baby present from my Colorado friend, Lynn Cranston. He arrived packaged with other goodies in a little red Radio Flyer wagon. By the time Alex was five or six months old, Beebe was already a favorite friend. Since Alex was too young to name him, I came up with the name Beebe (B.B. for blue bear - Matt says that the little rattles inside Beebe sound like little beebees, so the name fits that way, too.)

Alex became more and more attached to Beebe. Of course, he slept with the furry blue guy every night. But, that wasn't enough. By the time Alex was two, Beebe seemed to go everywhere with us, including: family vacation to Chicago, state fair, school, zoo, train festival at Lamm's, HarleyFest, parades and many more places.

Two outings deserve special attention. Those were the times that Beebe got lost. The first time was at the movie theater (Polar Express). Once we realized Beebe had stayed behind, we made franic phone calls to the theater. The first two times, the staff weren't able to find him. On the third call, we begged to come search the seats ourselves (since Matt had a pretty good idea where he was hiding). Finally, he was located, picked up and home before morning.

The second time Beebe was abandoned was at Quarry Quest. In fact, Beebe was left in the PortaPotty. Once again, as soon as we realized that Beebe didn't return home with the guys, frantic phone calls ensued. At nine o'clock at night, we were able to track down the woman who coordinated the event. She was already home, but she thought she remembered seeing Beebe at the lost and found. And, sure enough, we talked to her on Monday, and Beebe was sent home in a padded envelope. Luck was on our side once again.

Two notes about losing Beebe. First, both happened on outings with Matt. And, after the second time, Beebe was grounded to the car on all family trips. Second, it is amazing just how awful I felt when Beebe went missing. I know he is just a stuffed animal, but it gave me a pit in my stomach to think he might be gone for good. After all, Alex loved him like a living, breathing buddy (in fact, Alex once wished out loud for Beebe to come to life when he threw a coin into the wishing pool at the Domes). And, the little guy had somehow taken on a personality...he had nicknames (Beebs, Beebmeister), we made him costumes at Halloween (matching Alex, of course), he was included in the annual Christmas picture. He just seemed to be a part of the goings on around here.

Now that Alex is nine, Beebe does not join our family outings. And last year he was not in the Christmas picture. Alex still keeps him in his bed, but he does not clutch him tightly every night while he sleeps anymore. But, Beebe still holds an honorary spot in the family.

Julia Bedulia

Oh what a summer it has been for my little lady. After completely shutting down for the last several weeks of school, she has blossomed this summer. She has been more verbal, more active, more happy, and even a bit more sassy. It has been a joy to see her have one good day after another. Even though we've had some rough days, her really good days have far outnumbered the bad. Here's what she's been doing:

• Playing with beads almost constantly
• Opening and closing her left hand to grasp items
• Using her vision to turn towards sound and look at things on her lap
• Spending 30-45 minutes in her stander without complaining
• Swinging and swinging and swinging
• "Talking" to us - she responding to questions and comments with vocalizations, and her timing is too perfect to be a coincidence. She likes to be part of the conversation, and I don't think she always agrees with us.
• Staying awake nearly all day every day (just some short catnaps once in a while after a rough seizure

Joy, joy, joy - our little girl is showing us what a hard worker and contented kid she is!

Sweet Success

I'm not sure what to think about all of the bathroom talk around here lately...I guess it's just a reflection of my exciting life.

So, to round out the potty talk, here's one more story. Last night Mark and Audrey were here for a visit. We were all out on the patio finishing up dinner when Alex and Erica went inside. A few minutes later, they both came running back outside in a flurry of excitement. Erica came with her underwear around her ankles shouting, "I pooped, I pooped!" Alex followed closely behind carrying the potty chair and adding, "She pooped in the potty chair!" Oh lordy, sweet success (although it did not smell all that sweet). I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I got up off my chair and started jumping up and down, clapping and shouting, "You did it, you did it!" A true moment of parenting pride.

And, no accidents today either. So, I think it's safe to say we've made it over the potty training hump. I am nearly ready to declare this week's potty party a success. And, there are still a few M'n'Ms in the bag.

Erica Rocks

Before today, Erica had never peed or pooped in the potty chair or on the toilet. When asked if she would like to try, she has emphatically said, "No! I will use the potty chair when I am as tall as you, Mommy!"

Obviously, we needed a new approach. So, today we began a potty party. For the last couple of days, I have told Erica that starting today, she would wear underwear all day every day. And, there are treats - each time someone pees in the right place, they get one M'n'M - there's two for a number two. Erica tried to sneak in a new rule - 3 M'n'M's if you toot in the potty chair, but I vetoed that one. The boys also tried to work the rules, peeing only small amounts at a time so they could pee more often and qualify for more goodies. I was not fooled.

Overall, the day was a mixed success. Two pees in the potty chair with no pee accidents (except for a wet pull-up during naptime) and one poop in her underwear. Our little girl was VERY excited about her successes (we called daddy at work and grandpa to share the news). I told Erica she was the "top star" today and that she "rocks". So, she has happily been telling me over and over (and anyone else that will listen), "I rock. I am the top star." And, there were some tears over the poop accident. According to her, the accident was my fault because, as she explained, "I was in the garage and you weren't there and I didn't want to poop on the floor because you would be mad at me." Huh? My best translation is that she was in the garage and couldn't get the door to the house open by herself so she couldn't make it to the potty chair in time. But, that is just a guess.

All in all, I definitely think we're headed in the right direction. It's too early to predict total success, but it's a distinct possibility.

The bad news - I have not peed nearly enough to justify the number of M'n'M's that I have eaten. Even if the toot rule was in place, I've eaten way more than my share of treats. At this rate the very large bag of M'n'M's will be gone long before we can declare Erica potty-trained. I guess I have to start drinking more.

What Are You Eating, Mom?

Tonight, we went to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate my week of full-time work. I know it's only Thursday and I have another full day before it's officially a complete week, but Fridays are too busy for us to take the whole gang out for dinner, and besides that, Matt and I are going to the Brewer game tomorrow night.

About halfway through our meal, Luke reminded me of a very funny thing that happened the last time we ate at Texas Roadhouse. I like to have the sweet potato - loaded. That means it's covered in caramel sauce and then topped with marshmallows that are all toasty brown. Luke took a long look at it and said, "Mom, are you eating a pile of poop?" My response, "Yes, Luke. I pay a lot of money to have poop for dinner. Would you like to have a bite?" He just cracks me up. However, in all fairness, I do have to say that the loaded sweet potato in the dim light of the restaurant does taste much better than it looks.

Another fun part of this place - the dancing. Luke has decided that dancing is his calling, and he typically joins right in the line dancing with the waitstaff. In fact, the kid has some pretty good moves. He certainly did not get this from his mother or father; it's his very own gift. Now, he has been asking if he could please take dance lessons at Texas Roadhouse. Tonight, one of the hostesses (named Erica) taught him a couple of moves to practice before his next visit.

And, Erica's favorite part of the night - she was able to get her own booster seat, and "there were no guys or ladies there. I got it by myself." Whatever makes her happy, I guess.

Taste the Wind

Yesterday (Saturday) was another one of those divide and conquer days for our family. While Matt and Luke took Julia to horseback riding, Erica and I took Alex to his first session of swimming lessons. For the record, Alex is a Polliwog (Level 1), but we're hoping he starts cruising through some of these beginner levels...we'll see.

After swimming, we ran a few errands and brought home subs for lunch. We had the windows rolled down because it was a very warm day. Then, Alex tells Erica to open her mouth and taste the wind. I look back, and Erica has her eyes scrunched closed and her tongue hanging out with a huge smile on her face. Turns out that the wind tastes pretty good.

Dance

Luke and Erica love to dance. Luke's got a few moves, but mostly the two of them just spin in circles and call it dancing. This morning, Erica started spinning and said, "I'm going to dance and the whole house will dance with me." That's a pretty good explanantion for getting dizzy.

This reminds me of how much I used to love shrinkwrapping pallets for tradeshows because as you ran around the pallets with the roll of shrinkwrap, you could get a pretty good dizzy buzz. The nuts don't fall far from the tree.

Pork Tennis Loin and other kid-isms

Just for the record, Erica does not like Pork Tennis Loin. However, after taking a couple of bites of the pork tenderloin we had for dinner the other night, she announced that the 'chicken' was good.

I love the kids' mispronunciations! Even Alex still has one: am-bee-ance. As in if you're hurt, call 911 and they will send the am-bee-ance.

Luke goes to 'sfool', where he learns lots of things. Sfool is cool.

Boy vs. Bus

Julia's bus driver, Anna, is an absolute gem. She is so sweet to Julia, and the little kids both adore her. Many days, they slip on whatever shoes they can grab, throw on a coat and race outside in their jammies so they can say hi to Anna. Luke helps push the buttons to lower and raise the lift. Anna 'pays' him with high fives. Today after four high fives, Luke said, "I'm really makin' some cash!" Anna has also commented that Julia helps with her seat belt - Julia holds it each morning until Anna clicks the two pieces together. I love that she notices the little things that Julia does. She is also very careful to make sure little ones are out of the way before she leaves. So, after Julia is secured on the bus, I round up Luke and Erica on the front patio. As soon as the bus is clear of the driveway, Luke takes off like a shot to race the bus to the corner. Anna drives really slow, and Luke can run pretty darn fast, so Luke usually wins. A few days ago, Luke started the race on his scooter, but that wasn't fast enough. So, he abandoned the scooter and finished the race on foot. At the corner, Anna waves good-bye, toots the horn and sends him back home.

There's a lesson in all of this - it doesn't take much to really make someone's day a lot better. School mornings tend to make me tense. We're on a tight schedule to make sure Julia is dressed, medicated, fed and packed for school - not to mention that the little ones need help with dressing and breakfast. So, while Julia is usually ready to go on time, there's not a lot of time to spare. Some of Julia's other bus drivers would blow the horn if Julia wasn't outside the second they pulled in the driveway. Anna takes a different approach. She's so relaxed that it helps me to relax. These days, she's here really early because Caitlin hasn't been on the bus. Instead of making me feel rushed, she puts the lift down and sits on the edge with her feet dangling over. She said she doesn't want to drive around to just kill time, so she just takes a few minutes to chill in our driveway. Jacob and Sam, the brothers that ride the bus with Julia, chill out with her. No worries, no horn beeping, no crabbiness...just smiles and laughing. It's amazing how one person's attitude can really help me get my day off to a better start. I hope that I can pass it on.

Happy Birthday, Sunshine!

As we were waking up this morning, your daddy and I were talking about three years ago, thinking about the day you arrived. Then, your daddy said one of the nicest things I've ever heard - "She fills a void we didn't even know was there." That is so true. With three kids, we had our hands full. But, God knew better. He knew we had room in our lives and our hearts for one more very special little girl. And now we simply cannot imagine our lives without you.

You are:
Very smart - You can sing your ABCs, recognize numbers up to 12, count to 20...and, we're not sure who taught you all of this stuff. Sure, we read books and count and sing our ABCs, but you must be a little sponge to have learned it all so quickly.
Very strong-willed - It doesn't take long for foot stomping and arm crossing and tears rolling and squawking to happen when things don't go your way. You know what you want, when you want it and exactly how it should be done. Heaven help the person who gets in the way of your vision. For example, you got up this morning ran into the living room and sternly told your brothers, "Boys, it is my birthday. And, I don't need any help opening my presents!"
Very sweet - Oh little girl, you can melt the hardest heart. You have a cute little voice, a sparkle in your eye, and a smile on your face most of the time. And, you are one great snuggler.
Fashion savvy - You love clothes. And accessories. Nothing makes you happier than a reason to wear a pretty dress and tights and fancy shoes and a clippie. Thank goodness you think hand-me-downs are great - it makes you feel special to have your sister and your friends give you their clothes.

It's been three wonderful years, and we can't wait to see what the future has in store. We love you, pixie girl.

Puzzle Masters

Last week, we were all working on a USA map puzzle at Grandma and Poppa's house. I showed Luke Wisconsin and told him that's where we live. And, he asked, "Where's the new carwash that they're building?" I think an explanation about perspective is required.

In related puzzle news, this week while by Grandma and Poppa, Erica noticed that there was a puzzle piece missing. She studied it over and said, "How strange!" Alex found that hilarious.

Life at the Zoo

Otherwise known as our house during Spring Break.

And, we did viist the real zoo. Today is the first really, really nice day of spring, so we went to the zoo. Highlights:

• Alex rode a pony. Andy to be specific. I'm not sure what brought on this since Alex has rarely expressed any interest in riding the ponies since he was a really little boy. In fact, Andy might be the same pony he rode on his very first pony ride at the zoo many years ago.
• We heard a zebra 'talk.' It bared its teeth and made a noise I cannot quite describe. It did not sound happy, but it was cool to hear.
• We saw baby Mahal. He's still very cute with crazy hair. And, so snuggly with his mama. Even though it took a few tries to find a mommy for him, MJ and Mahal are great pair.
• The train ride. Luke ran to the crossing gates every time he saw the train coming, let us know he heard the train, and begged to ride the train the entire time we were at the zoo. In his words, the train ride was perfect. It worked out good for me, too. Poppa took the three kids on the train ride while Grandma and I stayed behind to feed Julia lunch. Julia finished her lunch, we went to see where the rest of the gang was and got there just as they were pulling back into the station. Talk about good timing.
• I am no longer pasty white all over. Instead, I am pale pink with freckles from my biceps down.
• A really nice lady took our picture in front of the zoo. It's nice to have a photo with all of us in it.
• We actually made it to the zoo. It has been a crazy week of sick in this house. In summary: Erica - starts a high fever on Satuday which she runs off and on until we finally decide to take her to the doctor on Thursday evening, where she is diagnosed with a double ear infection, Me - stomach bug and fever on Monday, Matt - really bad stomach bug on Wednesday, Alex - slight fever and lethargic on Wednesday/Thursday (he's still pretty congested), Julia - still trying to kick that cough that she's had for about 3 weeks (she's nearly over it now), Luke - no illness so far.

Equally amazing is that we managed an outing to the Mineshaft on Tuesday. Even with sick kids and sick parents, it has been a fairly nice spring break. Not Disney, but nice and pretty relaxing if you overlook the sick part. And, I hardly want to admit it, but my sick day wasn't so bad. Although I felt pretty yucky, it was so nice to sleep and sleep and sleep and then read a book for a little while. A whole day with no responsibilities. Ahhh, that was nice.

I Like Your Style

Luke is full of the best one liners. As we were getting ready to leave for Matt's parent's house on Easter Sunday, I asked Luke to put on his 'new' dress shoes. He slipped them on and said, "Wow, I bet Grandma will really like my style." Such fashion sense, such flair and so much better than the pink clippie bow he wanted to put in his hair so he could be handsome.

Butt Problems

No, not me. It's Luke that's having the problems. Today was a warmish spring day, and the kids were begging me to push them on the swings. With Erica in the baby swing and Julia in her swing, Luke had to use the yellow big kid swing. He is very cautious about this because he has vivid memories of two interesting experiences on this swing. The first happened at least a year ago. Jill was pushing him and somehow he flipped upside down and did a complete 360. He did manage to stay on the swing, which was both frightening and hilarious to watch. His next problem with this swing happened when I pushed him just a bit too hard, and I pushed him completely off the swing. He was not happy, but I giggled.

So, now he's got this whole routine about getting ready to be pushed. He needs to have his butt in just the right place on the swing. It needs to be hanging over the back a little bit, but not too much. So, after about 2 minutes of adjustments, he's ready. And, after a push or two, he needs to re-adjust. Which he lets me know by telling me, "I'm having butt problems. I have to stop and get things adjusted again. You know I have to have my butt in just the right spot." He cracks me up. It would be even funnier if Erica wasn't screaming for me to push her every 10 seconds.

So, watch out, I will soon have some serious 'guns' - all that swing pushing is bound to build up some muscles, isn't it?

Obsession

I have an addiction. I need to have things to read. Books, magazines, the back of a cereal box, newsletters, emails, blogs...I consume words. For many years, my addiction was tamed - fours kids in six years left little time for the luxury of reading. And, when I did read, it was about kids. But, the book fast has ended, and I have been glutting myself on books. I suck them down at the rate of about one novel a day, 2-4 times a week. Shortly after I renewed myself with the consumption of books, I started having mild vision problems. My depth perception was off once in a while. At first, I didn't connect it with all of the extra work my eyes were doing. Turns out my eyes needed time to adjust to all of this extra exercise. Now, they are often tired and burning, but that's because I do most of my reading after the kids go to bed, making for many late nights.

My addiction is fed by the local library, along with the 40 libraries that it's connected to through an online system. Search, find, request, pick-up - it's not unusual for me to have 10+ books in the 'on hold' queue. It's like Christmas morning going to pick up a stack of 'my' books from the library.

Luke and Erica seem to share my problem. The library is a weekly destination for us at a minimum, but we try not to stop there daily for risk of being considered stalkers. And the kids have a whole new field of possibilities - CDs and DVDs. Music and movies to borrow and absorb and enjoy.

Julia also loves to be read to, and we work to track down colorful books and happy music for her each week. Alex still claims that he doesn't like to read, but frankly I think it's growing on him. And, I've hunted down a few treasures for him as well. Last year it was Captain Underpants, now we've moved to Diary of a Wimpy Kid. We're not far away from Harry Potter.

So, the fact that my library card now has 80 checkouts cannot be blamed wholly on me. Strawberry Shortcake videos and Bob and Wendy puppets and Barney music and train books and Lawnmower Boy are all in that count.

What can I say - at least my addiction is fairly cost effective because except for the occasional lost book or video, it doesn't cost anything but time.

What's Happenin'?

Here's what's new - in no particular order.

Erica is on the verge of giving up her afternoon nap. She often naps for about 2 hours in the afternoon (a good thing), but then she is up until 9pm or even later (not such a good thing). So, I guess it's parent's option - an afternoon nap or early to bed, but not both.

Alex is having his first sleepover. Ryan is sleeping over tonight as part of an early birthday celebration. This afternoon, Alex, Ryan, Matt and Poppa went to Discovery World to see a robot battle. Very fun guy outing. Dairy Queen for dinner, ice cream cake at home for dessert. Sleeping in a tent in the basement is making for happy boys. I am trying to ignore the fact that my firstborn is quickly approaching his last single digit birthday. I know everyone says that your kids grow up fast, but really, does it have to be THIS fast?

Julia's hair is getting really long. She has gorgeous dark hair with some curl. Unfortunately, she can turn the back into a tangled rat nest in about 3 minutes flat. So, I think we might go short for the summer. As much as I love those gorgeous long locks, not many people see them and I think practicality might have to win out on this one. Sigh...I'm sure she'll look adorable with a cute little pixie cut, but I will miss the longer locks.

Luke has a bet with Grandma. If he can eat neatly for one week, she is going to take him to the Mineshaft for dinner and games. He's been working really hard to eat without making a mess. I hope this turns into a long-term habit because I am looking forward to the day when I don't stick to the floor around the kitchen table.

Erica is turning diva. She has to play dress up every day so she can be a princess. She insists on picking out her own outfits, and often begs to wear a dress. Jeans are not her favorite because she claims they are too cold. She loves to wear fancy shoes, even with very casual outfits. She is also getting bossy. Our sweet little toddler is becoming a very independent preschooler. And, no progress on potty training. Earlier this week, she insisted on wearing her Strawberry Shortcake underwear - she pooped in them less than 2 hours later. Humf. She seems fascinated by the concept of using the potty chair and wearing her cute undies, so I'm sure she'll be able to get it all figured out soon. She continues to be very affectionate and still gives the best super squeeze hugs. And, she can sure talk your ear off. I love her little voice.

It's Morning Time

Erica almost always wakes up in a very good mood. One of the very cute things she does is announce, "It's morning time, it's time to get up," in a very happy little voice. I usually ask, "How do know it's morning?" Her answer, "Because it's not dark out anymore." Then she giggles, and she's ready to get out of bed. Which, by the way, is still a crib. She doesn't mind the crib and I'm not working too hard to change it - she's contained and the crib fits in the girls' bedroom, so there's no rush to get her out of it in my mind. We'll worry about the updated sleeping arrangements once we make some progress with potty training.

So, no matter how tired I am or how many morning crankies I have, I get a great start to my morning thanks to little miss sunshine.

Worry

I know that this is self-centered and not necessarily fair, but I want to know what people who have healthy children and good health themselves worry about. Often, I think that our lives would be so simple and so relaxed if Julia were a 'normal' child. There is no doubt that I love this girl thoroughly and with my whole heart and soul...that is not the issue here. I love her for the person she is, and I don't often travel down the road of imagining what she would be like if she didn't have Aicardi Syndrome.


But, the draining stress of worrying about issues both big and small is wearing me down. What to do about balancing seizure control and too many meds (we're not doing very well on either front as Julia's seizures have been in the not completely awful, but not great range while she is still on three different seizure meds), what to do about inclusion at school (my gut feel is that Julia should be spending more meaningful time with her regular ed class, but no one can seem to figure out how to do it), new mystery issues (her teacher pointed out that Julia has not been using her right leg/foot - sure enough, after studying her for the last couple of days, she really is not using her foot and she seems to be using her right hand much less as well - I'm in overdrive coming up with very scary explanations for why this might be happening), working to find a nurse (we were hoping that we would find someone we had no doubts about, but instead we're doing a trial run with someone we're not 100% sure about). All of this is on top of regular doctor appointments, brace fittings, winter illnesses, forms and paperwork and just everyday life. Not to mention, I am really busy at work and can't seem to get caught up.

Breathe in, breathe out. My head knows that I just need to tackle these stuff one step at a time, but some days, I just don't want to deal with it.

On the bright side, my capacity for handling stress in a somewhat healthy way has increased by about 200% since the time Alex was a baby. If only the number of things to worry about had not increased by 250%, I would be one zen woman.

I guess God did not intend for me to be zen. Perhaps he has an inkling that I would turn into a complete couch potato if things got too relaxed. I guess he wants to keep me motivated.

This post has been entirely too much whining, but it's my blog and it felt good to get it off my chest. So, there.

Autopilot

Last Thursday, Erica and I were grocery shopping at the Pig - just the two of us. She was 'driving' the truck cart. I did something that she didn't like, and she wanted to show me who was the boss. So, she crosses her arms and says, "Fine, I'm not going to drive anymore." Lucky for me, those carts are equipped with Autopilot.

On a related note, this girl of ours is such a mix of sugar and spice. Most of the time, she is sweet, affectionate and full of smiles. But, she also has a streak of moody teenager in her tiny two-year-old body. When she's upset, she goes to her room and closes the door. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E.

Survivors

Sometimes mispronunciations can be a good thing. Lately, whenever I make something that the kids don't like to eat, Luke and Erica tell me that it tastes like "bark." I am pretty sure they mean barf, but I'm not going to clue them in. I would prefer to think that I have very nature-oriented kids who could survive in the wilderness by eating tree bark - but only if they had to. Because by their tone of voice, I can tell they sure don't like it.

Hatch Teeth or Pizza

Conversation from the van:

Alex: Luke, what do chicks use to get out of the egg? This is the joke one.
Luke: No answer (at least nothing that makes sense)
Alex: Hatch-ets...But, do you know what chicks really use? They use a hatch tooth.
Mom: Alex, how do you know that?
Alex: Well, I do actually pay attention in school. I'm not thinking about pizza like some people.

So, now I'm wondering - who are the kids who are thinking about pizza? And, exactly how much time does the typical third-grader spend daydreaming about pizza?

What's Wrong with 6:43am?

I have finally figured out why I am always running late in the morning. I have a strange compulsion to only get out of bed at an 'exact' time - 6:45 is okay, 6:43 and 6:46 are not. And, to further complicate things, I don't like to crawl out of bed in the middle of a song. So, the alarm goes off at 6:31 - already missed the 6:30 option. I usually doze until about 6:43, then I have to wait a couple of minutes because it's an 'odd' time. Then, it's 6:45, but it's the middle of a good song. Then, 6:48 - an 'odd' time. And, at 6:55, you might as well wait until straight up 7:00. And, then 7:00 rolls around, but it would be just plain wrong to pass up a morning snuggle from one of the kids.

So, how did it get to be 7:12? It's way too late to wait for 7:15 and the end of the song. So, I'm starting my morning late and all of kilter because I have to get up at an 'odd' time in the middle of a song.

Maybe I should set the alarm for 6:27.

They are not socks...

This morning Alex was getting ready for school and announced that he was putting on his 'sweat absorbers.' I cracked up and said, "Alex, you are so cute!" Um, not exactly the right thing to say to an almost-9-year-old. He quickly set me straight and informed me that he is not cute. I told him he was right - he is not cute, he is clever!

And, I wonder if his feet are really that sweaty. I've never really noticed them being smelly, and I was even on duty to trim his toenails just yesterday. Things that make you go "hmmmm."

Snapshot

The kids change so quickly, and I've found that I love re-reading these snapshots of the little things they're doing at a certain point in time. So, here it is:

Alex

• Reading at a 5.7-8.0 AR level. That means my third grader is reading at a 6th-8th grade level. I wonder what he could do if he actually liked to read!?? Maybe he's coming around..he has been loving a 3-book series called Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
• Just took second place overall at the Pinewood Derby for the second year in a row. And, the three boys all worked together to build two cars - one for Alex and one for Luke. Alex didn't mind Luke's participation at 'his' Derby at all.
• Has a nickname - A-Rod. His friend Ryan gave him the nickname, and he's pretty pleased about it. He's been becoming better friends with Ryan, which is a good thing. Ryan is a really nice kid, and the two of them seem to get along really well.
• Favorite color is orange.

Julia

• Has been relatively healthy for the last couple of months. Most of December and all of January were good for her. In fact, she did NOT get the stomach flu when the rest of the kids had it. And, she's had healthy lungs. She does have a bit of a cough now, but it has certainly seemed as though the daily Pulmicort and Albuterol as needed are keeping her much healthier overall.
• Seizures have been okay, but not great - certainly not the kind of seizure control we would like with three meds and her VNS. It's time to re-evaluate things - whether that's with Dr. Colan or moving her neuro care to Children's. There are a couple of new meds out, so maybe one of those will be the ticket.
• Has been enjoying more time in her Little Room. In fact, we've all been spending more time downstairs since the Wii is now down there.

Luke

• Oh my goodness, listening to that boy is so darn entertaining. It's like he's got a 85-year-old man inside of him sometimes - his comments are insightful and really smart and kooky and he can just ramble on and on. A couple of examples: Today, he was doing a "Where's Waldo" book with Grandpa Stern. he took a break to get his hair cut, but Grandpa was supposed to keep searching. Grandpa tried to sneak a quick cat nap in, and Luke busted him - "Grandpa, you're not supposed to have your eyes closed!"
• Another example: Last night, Matt and I went out to dinner, so Grandma and Poppa Ertl came to babysit. Luke was looking forward to doing puzzles with Grandma. We were doing some quick grown-up visiting before Matt and I left, and Luke was getting impatient (an understatment). Finally, after about 5 minutes of grumbling, he asks Grandma, "Do you have glue on your seat?"
• The kid is a whiz at Mario Kart Wii. He can watch his position, his driving and his 'prizes' while giving a running commentary. "I'm really good at this track. That turtle is a pretty good driver, but I can beat him. I don't tell any of these guys my tricks. They don't tell me their tricks, and I want to beat them. I found a shortcut. If anyone asks me, I can tell them my tricks. But, no one ever asks me..."
• Friendly, friendly, friendly. Happy, happy, happy. Smiley, smiley, smiley. He can charm adults and kids, he makes friends so easily, and just has a love for life. He can also be incredibly relentless when he wants something, and very, very messy. I hope we can keep the crazy annoying stuff in perspective so we don't dim his wonderful light.
• Competitive - wants to be the first person in the house, the first to get his food, the first to give Poppa a hug.
• Usually gets along really, really well with Erica. The two of them can play for a long time without any issues. But, there's been a little more fighting lately. Combination of Erica getting more independent, and Luke wanting his chance to be the boss of everything (since Alex always lords over him.)
• Favorite color is pink.

Erica

• Still a major jabber jaws. Can put together 3-4 sentences in a row, have a decent conversation...she has a lot of her mother in her.
• Can count to 13 reliably.
• Is learning her ABCs.
• Recognizes numbers up to 10, all of her shapes, and all of her colors (except occasionally mixing up green and yellow). Thank you little purple Barney computer - she loves that thing. She does sometimes pretend to get things wrong or asks for help if we're not watching her closely enough for her liking.
• Grabs your head to turn it toward her if she wants your attention. Also says "Knock, knock" to get your attention.
• Gives super squeeze hugs.
• Loves Strawberry Shortcake. Also likes Dora, Diego and ponies.
• Loves to dance.
• Does the sign of the cross when she hears the bells in church.
• Is nearly over her fear of Father Rick and really warming up to him. Loves to get a special blessing from him when we go up for communion. Funny stories - the first time she got a blessing, as we walked away, she announced loudly, "Father like me!" At one point, she thought the blessing was the host and tried to wrangle one away from Father. The next week, when I said she could get a blessing from Father, she said, "I eat it?" She is very disappointed if we are on the side opposite of where Father gives up communion and she doesn't get a blessing.
• Loves to announce her whole name - Erica Hope Rosner!
• Gives 'super squeeze hugs' - she hugs your neck so tight and it is just the perfect hug!
• Favorite color is purple.

Sick, Sicker, Even Sicker, Sickest

It has been a long week. Tuesday night, Luke got the stomach flu. He got sick in his bed three times. Thursday afternoon, Erica got it. She got sick on the living room floor and while sitting on my lap. Thursday night, Alex and Matt got it. Alex got sick in his bed, then spent the rest of the night on the couch with the infamous green dishpan. Matt was able to make it to the bathroom, but spent most of the night camped out there. So, if you're counting, 4 out of 6 of us have been hit. Julia and I are hanging in there and praying we've been spared. Not so lucky for Dad - he got it yesterday, but is on the road to recovery now.

So sticking with my 'appreciate' theme, here is the silver lining:

1. This bug was fast and furious - it only stuck around about 24 hours or less for each sickee.
2. Dad scored that awesome carpet cleaner for us - it made one clean up job lots easier.
3. My kids were at home when they got it - not so lucky for the little girl in church today. Oh my.
4. The obvious - so far I haven't gotten it. And, even better, Julia hasn't.
5. I have an awesome washing machine that kept chugging along.

Fingers crossed, knock on wood - I sure hope we've seen the last of this for a LONG time.

MER

16 Things About Me

Well, it's the blogging thing to do, so here it is.

1 - I am into cooking, and I take it seriously. Most weeks, I create a menu plan and do my grocery shopping over the weekend so I have all my supplies. I love AllRecipes.com - it's a key part of my planning, and I usually get inspired to try a couple new recipes every week. A really well-executed week means we have planned leftovers for lunches, lots of good 'grinding' food and extra pucks for Julia and a least a couple of meals that everyone loves. A less stellar week means lots of PB&J sandwiches, some make-ahead dinners out of my freezer back-up and a trip (or two or three) to Cousins drive-thru.
2 - I've started wearing scarves again (not as in outdoor gear, but as in fashion). I have quite a few that were tucked in a drawer and unworn for years. Last week, another blogger posted some scarf-tying techniques, and I was inspired to dive into my stash. I've been able to put together a couple of outfits that wouldn't work without a scarf to pull it all together. I even got to wear a brand new pair of pants that I got on clearance, but didn't have anything to go with them until I did the scarf thing. Fashion at my fingertips.
3 - I love our redone bedroom. It's been a couple of months since we finished it, and I still get an "Ahhh" feeling every time I walk in there. The colors turned out perfect, and it is such a serene, relaxing space. Thinking about it gets my itching to do another re-do project. Basement, hallway, kitchen...what to tackle next!?
4 - Work is exciting right now. New ownership, Christine as the new VP of Marketing, new projects, new opportunities. It's been a long time since I've had work on the brain at home, but it's been good to stretch my mind with all of this "new".
5 - I love the mail. I can hear the mailtruck when it does the other side of Woodview Court, and I know it will be 45 minutes until delivery at our house. I practically dance out the door as soon as the mail arrives. This obsession is directly related to number 6.
6 - I am addicted to magazines. I have about 7 magazine subscriptions, and I regularly check magazines out from the library. Just can't get enough of them.
7 - As long as we're on the topic, I also LOVE to read. I take the kids to the library at least once a week, and I use the online searching/hold system to keep my reading queue filled so I am never without a good book to read. Luckily I am a super fast reader, so I can crank through a good book in an evening. Right now I am totally into vampire books - it started with the Twilight series, it moved to Sookie Stackhouse (done with all 8 of those), and now I'm into the Undead and ... (Unwed, Unemployed, etc) series.
8 - I have always worn my hair fairly short. It hit shoulder length for a while in the late 90's, but it's never been longer than that, and it's now a lot shorter. Since becoming a mom, my rule is that my hair has to be 'done' with no more styling than a quick blow dry. That works for me.
9 - I wear glasses all the time. I used to wear contacts most of the time, but that gave way to the ease of glasses nearly 10 years ago (yes, right about the time Alex arrived...no coincidence there). I tend to go for funky glasses now. One of my best splurges EVER was a pair of Juicy prescription sunglasses. They are brown and pink with a bit of bling and I just LOVE them.
10 - I take a lot of pictures. We got our first digital camera about 6 years ago, and I take thousands of pictures every year (the last couple of years, it's been around 10,000/year). One of my personal to-do's is to learn to take better pictures. I have a new Canon Rebel XTI (almost a year old now), and I still use the Auto setting for nearly all of my photos. It's time to take it to the next level.
11 - I love to play with color, and I'm not afraid of bold colors on the wall. I LOVE the orange wall in our Great Room. Before it was orange, it was a blend of deep red and dark blue (stipple painted). I love having a statement wall as the first thing people see when they come into our home. I think it says "Bold Personalities Live Here."
12 - I am fascinated by the sibling/family dynamics of our kids. It completely amazes me that 4 kids with the same DNA building blocks can turn out so different. And, it is amazing to see how those four personalities interact with one another. And, I must add it makes me so proud at a gut level that these children are mine.
13 - I am a multi-tasker. I usually have a lot of irons in the fire. I think this might be because my attention span keeps getting shorter and shorter. It might also be that my ambitions are greater than my waking hours. So many interesting things to do, so little free time to do it.
14 - My next creative project to learn is beading. I've already started accumulating the beads and some tools (and, no surprise, checked out some books from the library). Next step - gather everything I need and make my first creation from scratch.
15 - Movies don't have to be all that good for me to enjoy them. Matt and I go out so infrequently that just the time out in a quiet theater and comfy chair contents me.
16 - I think I have a fairly large amount of patience, but when it runs out, watch out. I can tolerate quite a bit of chaos and big voices and scattered toys and busy schedules, but when I reach the end of my rope, just back away.

Appreciate

I have to admit, I've pretty much abandoned making New Year's Resolutions. Somehow it seems that the busyness of the holidays leaves me without enough energy to think about a master plan to improve my life over the upcoming year. So, by the time I get my head around the fact that it is a new year, it's mid-January and the momentum is gone.

This year is different. Oh sure, I went through the first week ignoring the whole resolution thing. I toyed with the idea of doing a 365 photo project. I glanced over the 'word of the year' posts on the blogs of 'famous scrapbooking women'. I watched bits and pieces of Oprah's Best Life series. But, I didn't summon up enough hutzpa to actually do anything until today. And, really, it just kind of hit me unexpectedly.

The word hit me and just stuck. That word is appreciate. As in appreciate my blessings. As in show appreciation for those I love. As in appreciate what I have rather than regretting what I don't. But, I guess it's really not enough to just have a word. I need a plan.

So, here's the plan. This last week has been sending me bits and pieces of information that I've synthesized (oh, I love that word) into my big plan. At the root of it all, I want to appreciate the gifts I've gotten from God. So, I've been reading all kinds of books waiting for something to resonate. And, I found Beth Moore's "Believing God". Just picked it up from the library tonight (and, that library is near to the top of my appreciation list!). I've only started, and the ideas are still sinking in, but this book is going to be a big part of my plan. Read a blog by Leo Babauta that said change a habit rather than making resolutions. He says it only takes 10 minutes a day to create change. That's going to be the ticket. I'm going to work Beth's spiritual challenges into a plan that takes 10 minutes a day (okay, maybe a bit more), and I'm going to get closer to understanding God's plans and gifts and wonders for me.

I know, it's a little loosey goosey right now, but I can feel it in my heart that this plan is the thing I'm meant to do. I'm going to get stronger and kinder and happier...it's going to be good. This is not an idea that I can let just fade away. So, more details for this grand master plan and my progress to follow. Eventually...